Why I hate Social Media

 

Take a deep breath.

So for the past 4 years I have been on and off Facebook. I eventually decided that I’ll stay about 2 years ago but refused to post any photos or comments. Only in the past few months I’ve commented on posts and it’s primarily not to be rude when someone has commented on my page.  Of course, I must put the disclaimer – social media has saved lives, allowed freedom of speech, inspired revolutions and connected lost friends and families.

So why was I silent?

I choose to be silent for so many years because I found Facebook to be impersonal, fake and ‘pretensive’. Is this the new way of communicating? Am I getting old?

You cannot be my friend by a click of a button. You’re ‘lol’ing but your face is stiff. I guess you’re laughing out loud in your head like silent reading in the 5^th grade. Comments and likes are inflated emotions with zero value. When you see me on the street you either don’t know me, don’t say hi or think that when I translate how you’ve interacted with me online to live, is weird. How ‘bout we therefore keep it simple and genuine online? No, that’s difficult because we enjoy the online scene where we don’t have to use real emotions.

– And this post is all about relationships, I haven’t and won’t even touch on other odds like the need people have to post every thought and thing without a filter –

Social media has killed our used-to-be emotions because when we meet in person it’s an awkward silence but when we ‘part I get a “omg, that was like totally rad and awesome, let’s do that again” message, when it wasn’t, it was boring and awkward so you quickly ran to hide and resort to the keyboard or touchpad.

Or how about when I was no longer on bb I never heard from those bb contacts that used to message me so much.  Remove your birthday as public and see who actually remembers. Remove yourself from all of these settings like I’ve done in the past 4 years and notice who calls, e-mails or visits your home (not page). You will see who your 1/2 friends are like I did, keep that person or those people close to you.

It’s the same thing with Linkedin. Everyone ignores my note in the how to contact Shalisha section in which I kindly ask to introduce yourself. Call me a snob but they each get ignored if I don’t know the person. Sorry, but if you don’t have the time to send a short message with a Linkedin request, how could you have time to build a business relationship? No, we don’t do that in today’s world, we click click tap tap. Our fastfood world has become a fastfriends world too and social media options just keep appearing. Join this, join that! Ugh.

It’s why I had a hard time thinking of starting a blog but I’ve committed myself to be pure, vulnerable and honest for the sole purpose and hope of inspiring someone. No publicity, no reward, I just wanna help.

Why the change?

Call me a prude but I said to self today, self, we will write down why you have refused to interact via the 21^st century’s mode of interaction and why no profile photo despite having so many professional ones. *Thanks to my big Sis Lisa Nichols for helping me dig deeper* Self said: (1) People would all of a sudden realize I’m alive and start liking, poking, friendsing and messaging me, which would not impress me the least, (2) The world would then connect the dots and realize ohhh, that’s Shalisha, blah blah judge, gossip (3) Rather than get to know me they’ll roamstalk my page and (4) I would loose all privacy that even remains in the 21^st century.

The Do-It self said with rolling eyes and a never ending yawn (1) well, in today’s world it means credibility and (2) It takes away the ‘what is she hiding’ feeling. And the (3) truth is, when I’m connecting with people for business, they can easily identify me so that’s a ‘plus’?  I guess. I eventually threw in the towel and said fine while cheering myself up.

So as I thought, the minute I posted a cover photo and profile pix it sorta went “viral”. Ohh, where have you been? Like Rihanna. I’ve been here all along breathing the same air as you and sharing the same sun. Where have you been? I ask. I mean no offence to those who have liked, messaged or commented on my photo but you could have said hi four years ago … dot dot dot… And this is not to all so really, please don’t be offended. Some of you if you bumped into me on the street say I’ve deleted you and I’ve disappeared when in fact, I haven’t, I’ve been here all along and you don’t even notice me because I’m not a Facebook junkie. (insert sad puppy face). It reminds me of the guy who sat in my business class for months uninterested but when a classmate showed him my modeling pix on Facebook there were instant invites out and sweet talk galore. This is what I was trying to avoid by disappearing.

Can we please take a few steps back to sit down and have a chocolate stick tea from Vincy? Can I have your postal address to send a beautiful calligraphy letter I wrote for you? Do you even know your postal address? Can we do like we used to and bake a cake together and hear each others’ laughter? Can we go to the beach without you every minute taking a photo to post online? Can we simply enjoy the sea and the moment? Can we sit for lunch without all heads looking down on a device? Can we just be friends like back in the day?

 

What’s next?

So I’m out of the closet, out of ‘hiding’ as they say but my interaction will remain the same. Heck, I just may delete my account for good. I’m an ole fashion gal in a modern-day world. So don’t be surprised if I don’t say much and don’t be surprised if I call and invite you for a home cooked dinner.

Now run off, call a friend and arrange for lunch or set up a playdate for the lil ones.

Much Love,

Shalisha 🙂