For The Lupita Nyong’os Amongst Us

 

I am amazed at how the world sees people and not concepts. Lupita Nyong’o has encouraged me to push the envelope with her bold courageousness. When the world fell in love, I wasn’t surprised because while I haven’t -yet- seen 12 Years a Slave, I’ve seen her interviews and heard her messages (e.g speech on Fear & Dreams:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LKpTHa2VoU).

Following a recent conversation, I could not help but wonder if Lupita would’ve been accepted in my society. I thought of it more and found some Lupitas in my circle and beyond. Black women that speak with eloquence and grace. Poised, brilliant and beautiful inside out. Strange combination of characteristics? How dare I go down the line of placing Black next to speak with eloquence? Well, keep reading. These type of people belong in a zoo because they are either rare or some type of endangered species.

It is a peculiar observation that people admire Lupita but disregard and insult their own Lupitas. They see Lupita or (insert other well known person here) and not the “concept.” The concept/characteristics described above or any other combination of rare.

Do you know how we treat the Lupitas amongst us?

We call them prissy, “nuff”, oreo, fake, great, poor great, pretensive, wanna be’s, uppity, uppity negro, full of themselves, snob, goody two shoe, highty-tighty, prude, that “they think they better than us” type.

We push our Lupitas away. We tell them that they do not fit in. It’s ok to love up Lupita Nyong’o but find another local ‘Lupita’ and you tell her or him to take their uppity negro ass elsewhere. They are left to defend, explain and define themselves and prove their “Blackness” like a clown on display. They use more common words, basic vocabulary and a little more slang. Or they just remain silent or motionless, constantly guarded, so that all eyes aren’t on them. So that no one starts to laugh or tease, or ridicule or label them.

We ask them “Why do you speak like that? Speak different. Tone it down.” and patronize them by poking fun or mocking them. They may eat a different kind of food, listen to different music, like certain movies, enjoy life differently, have fun in their own way etc. They may not speak slang. Not because they look down upon slang, as their critics want to quickly charge but because, why must they? Was that in Article 5(2) of the I was Born Black Code of Conduct?

In their mind, they’re just speaking in the way they know how to speak. Or they’re just doing the things they like. There is no effort involved, no ‘trying’, they’re just being themselves. It gives us no reason to reject them.

If our local ‘pita makes a mistake, the others seem to almost die with laughter or snicker and dish out a harsher judgement because deep down they despise and resent them. Oh that’s what you get for thinking you better than “us”. Who the hell is “us”, what is “us? Please fill me in.

Deep Breath.

Look at a Lupita interview and ask yourself, “What would I say to her if she sat next to me in class? Or was my neighbor or co-worker?” Would her speak and persona make you uncomfortable? Would you also ask her to dim her light (which is in essence who she is & the things she does)? And to slouch her shoulders juuust a tad bit so you can feel secure? Will you ask her to “stop acting like that” ? “Like what?” she’ll ask, confused. Will you call her an oreo and tell her that her personality does not fit the outer appearance?

I suppose not because Lupita seems soo far removed from you, a rare hard to reach type. Probably you don’t really see her as one of you anymore so that’s cool, she can speak the way she does and eat her kale.

I suppose, however, you think that Melinda from your neighourhood has no right speaking the way she does because you know her from thy kingdom come and know her Mother is ‘just’ a house cleaner and her Dad a plumber. So who gives her the right? The right to be different.

Isn’t Melinda a child of God? What were you expecting? – Orwell’s 1984 of sameness?

But either way, what is so wrong, unjust or immoral with these differences? Are they really the ones you want to beef with or are they easy targets because they won’t bust you in the mouth with a golden Oscar? 🙂

*Just for the inset disclaimer. I’m not referring to douchebags, mean people or the so called “talented ten” and Willie Lynchers. Because I’m sure someone will have such a mental block to how these people are treated that they will blur the lines between the two differences I’m making.

We create this one picture frame of what it means to be Black, or a Black woman or a West Indian or Black West Indian etc. This “us” that I’m trying to figure out because no one gave me a manual with my “I was born Black Code of Conduct”

A one picture frame yet we cry out for diversity. Are we celebrating diversity? There is diversity amongst us.

There is diversity amongst us. There is diversity amongst us. There is diversity amongst us. There is diversity amongst us. There is diversity amongst us … are the cries of the thousands and thousands of people tired of being “othered” and ostracized. Tired of being told how they should act simply because of their race or community.

Maybe you’ve found yourself saying these things to others. Please stop. You push these people away and cause them unwarranted stress. Give love instead.

And to all my local Lupitas, continue to be bold and courageous like Lupita Nyong’o. Love the you you are. Embrace it, Express it.

Find like minded people and build a network. A network of caring, genuine people that will challenge you to greatness rather than tear you down. Love even your critics. Heck, even Michelle Obama has been called “uppity”. Don’t stress even on this “issue” we have in our society. Be aware of it and keep it moving with a smile.

You have every right to be who you are. Every right to be different.

With Love,

From a ‘rare’ Black woman who no longer gives a shit about trying to fit in.

---

 

*Off to dip myself in a glass of my home made almond milk :p :p :p HAHA.