What images appear when you think of poverty?
Do a quick online search for images of “poverty” and you’ll see very impoverished children, skeleton frames, street beggars, 5 people sharing a bowl of rice and lots of UNICEF flies as Trevor Noah calls them.
Those images definitely depict poverty. But there are more images that do not appear. In fact, today’s images may shock you. What is considered as poverty has changed overtime as our world developed. It also doesn’t look the same in every country or region.
In my part of the world, we don’t have those online images of poverty yet poverty still exists. We won’t go into whether it’s lower or middle class poverty.
If a friend or relative is unemployed or has a new or struggling business, it is quite possible that their finances have changed. They can’t do some of the basic farless leisurely things they used to do with you.
You haven’t noticed a major change because maybe they dress the same way or possibly drive the same car. Sure, a wardrobe does not necessarily disappear when funds have gone and the car if fully paid for won’t either. If not fully paid for, you may no longer see them driving however.
These changes in income should make you start to wonder – how on earth are they still paying the mortgage?! Groceries are often the first sacrifice because it’s much harder to be homeless.
What can I do? … work on emotional intelligence or plain logic to make you realize that it cannot possibly be easy given their financial change and ….
Think you can’t help? … try taking tuna, onions and rice to a friend in need and see magic unfold. These things are for some people not very expensive. In Barbados for example, that can cost USD$5. If someone keeps saying they barely have enough for groceries, that is a cry for help. Ding Dong to intuition.
Ding.
Dong 🙂
But I know some of us aren’t plugged in like that. Hopefully this article offers some insight.
It takes a whole lot for someone to come right out and say “Can I borrow some money for groceries?” So we don’t need to respond with “well if they needed help they should have just come right out and ask” There sadly is shame and pride so don’t let your friend go through that added pain of humiliation when you already KNOW what is wrong and how to help.
Please do not judge poverty. It has changed and it comes at different levels and it always affects someone’s mind. It doesn’t mean they live in a derelict house, or that they’re wearing rags begging and sleeping on the streets and skinny with a belly full of air.
It could mean that they can no longer enjoy going to the movies, the annual fair, going to the hair salon or barber, taking the bus as often, can’t pay for their child’s lessons, eating out, or buying good quality feminine pads (lol, yes I said it) etc. It’s possible that they are buying fewer vegetables because with broccoli in one hand and beef in the other, it’s an easy non-choice for a family of 4.
Maybe they’ve had to move back in with their Parents or family. Some comforts of life are gone and it may have a mental/emotional affect. It can be a little harder on men who pride themselves in being providers for their family.
This changing face of poverty makes it hard to recognise a need. So many of us walk around hungry daily. Skipping meals and eating unhealthy. Some begin to engage in or think of engaging in illicit activities just to feed themselves and family.
It sometimes doesn’t take much to help a friend to stay on the awesome path. Help them see that their situation is temporary and lead them away from making detrimental permanent choices. Do what you can as a friend to ensure that they survive, thrive and triumph on this financial rough patch.
No, you don’t owe anyone anything and sure, it’s not your “job” to take care of others. There are no obligations. You are the only one who knows what you’re capable of doing. Act wisely and use judgement. This article was to help us recognise some of the signs.
Have anything to add? What’s your Experience?
Cheers!
P.S – Read Part I of How to Be a Friend
Very well written Shalisha! #Agreed
Thank you Asha!