Do you screw up every day? I don’t mean little bo boos, I mean a royal, colossal screw up where you spend your evenings in regret and wondering what happened to your day.
Maybe you planned to drink lemon water when you woke, to jog, to write a proposal, to sit in silence but for some unknown reason, you can’t figure out why these awesome plans folded. All you know is that the alarm was too low, you had to buy a beef patty and juice for breakfast on your way to your daily do and someone pissed you right off your zen mode. Or maybe it’s 3pm and you’re in your nightwear with a long youtube history of songs and cute animal and fitness videos. Hey! It happens.
Either way, you quickly jump into planning mode by bedtime, making promises for a better tomorrow. Bam! You’ve the courage, tenacity and vigor you had the night before. You journal about it and tell your close friends and family. You even call to encourage them because you’re filled with inspiration to share. And damn! It happened again. “Oh mah, oh man, oh man. Not again”- Drake’s Back to back.
So you’re back to motivating yourself and writing a gratitude list.
That voice then comes into your head. The one that says, “Here we go again. We do this everyday. Who are you fooling? You are probably insane or bipolar. When will you ever get it right? You’re a hot mess. Yuh full ah shit. Everyone else gets it.”
Action coach Akua Soadwa once coached me to say: “Hey negative self talk, I see you.” You firstly have to recognize that voice for what it is. You are not allowed to beat yourself up. If the voice is not one of love then it’s not real but a mere illusion. But recognize it you must.
Step 2: Turn up the slow-mo. This is where you sit up on your bed with thanks, walk to your closet with thanks, take out your running outfit with thanks and look at it with love. Pause. Then you put one leg in and one leg only and then the other (you’re still sitting). Then you stand and wiggle it up. Lol.
Here’s how I do it: I lay my exercise clothes on the floor the night before with my sneaks right next to them. I either head to bed super early (chicken sleeping hours) or set my alarm. If there is no alarm, whatever time I wake I get going and I do not look at the time. Time is an illusion anyway. I then cover my eyes and turn the lamp on and with eyes covered I walk slowly to the bathroom, brush my teeth and slowly enter back into the light. This does it for me. There is no going back to bed after I brush my teeth and turn the lights on. So after drinking lemon water and reading a chapter of a book I realize it’s 4:30am. Initially I needed step 2 to get going but fitness has now become a habit. These are my magical hours. Yours may be 11pm when I’m in dream #4.
The idea is to take your slooow time doing each step that is necessary to bring you to your goal. Don’t let the goal crush your baby steps. Don’t let the negative self-talk tell you you’re pathetic and you need to do bigger steps and go faster. Say outloud “Hey negative self talk, I see you” You can apply this in many areas of your life.
Seth Godin has a similar strategy in his Linchpin book (a must read). He suggests we speak our fear outloud and the lizard brain would retreat. I.e, you’ll be more embarrassed, or rather, come to a full realization that it’s not the real self that’s talking. You’ll laugh at yourself for the things you say outloud because you realize it’s mostly silly talk. Do give this method a try 🙂
Step 2 is the final step. You will eventually build a paced, sustainable and balanced momentum. Sustainability allows for consistency and that’s how we achieve our goals. More on balance in another article.
If you fail at your plans on day one, try them again the next day. You have every right to try, that’s your life’s right. Don’t view what others are doing and think you’ll be trapped in a cycle of fail and try again. I once wondered why I wasn’t getting it right and why I felt burned out at the end of the day. I learned that my circle of like-minds had assistants (yes), vehicles, partners (supportive ones too), no student loans, and a support base called family.
At times I felt like I missed the boat but I realized I had limited support and resources. The reasons are irrelevant. The point is, when we go on slow mo, we should only focus on our growth, not comparative growth. Comparing yourself is not a good yardstick for measuring your progress.
This is why it takes courage. Courage to fail, courage to even look like a slow looser to the world. But who cares! Don’t let the ego get in your way. There is no race to be won. Fail and redo. Fail and redo. Fail and redo.
So please forgive yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself.
Cheers!