Over the years I have read many tips and listened to talks on how to be disciplined.
Perhaps like you, I downloaded productivity tools to prevent me from time wasting activities in the World of Scrolling! I either can’t access Facebook or Youtube after 30 minutes of activity but I would simply use another browser or a different device. I was a determined looser.
These methods failed beautifully and I was back at square one with learning how to be disciplined to improve my productivity. By that time, I’ve seen 20 puppy videos, 8 goose-bump singing auditions and had guiltily read a rabbit hole of articles on being disciplined or successful.
To be honest, I felt like a shitty failure during these episodes. I admired those who were seemingly disciplined with ease. So why couldn’t I get it right?
Like Moses in the Holy Ground, it came to me in a glorious moment! My approach was upside down – I do not need to have discipline, I simply need to practice discipline. The release from the burden of not having, to a refreshing and hopeful outlook was instantaneous. It was relaxing and peaceful!
Beginning the work comes with ease when it’s simply a practice; our perception of the space for error is much larger.
Were did I think this discipline would magically appear from anyway? And why was I so caught up with a word that is simply a pointer?
Sure, you may say that this is merely a play on words, pure semantics. But when we sit and torment ourselves for not “having” something it puts us further away from any form of possession of that thing.
It is true that we can do all things; it’s a bit of how it is described to us and our perception of the thing. Our changed view of a thing gives us the freedom to pursue that very thing.
Shifting our thinking around discipline removes the specialty and the “giftedness” from it. No longer will we look at a group of people and say “x” has discipline but “y” does not. It is not something that some of us possess and others do not because the question would arise of where did those who have discipline get it from? And the likely answer in your mind may lead to this …
The human mind welcomes the warmth of practice and feels small for things it thinks it should have but simply do not possess.
Here is the Oxford definition of dis·ci·pline – /ˈdisəplən/
The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience
I’m not sure how beautiful that feels. Is it welcoming to you? In fact, let’s throw out the entire word discipline. It’s just a word that speaks more towards the thing you want to be disciplined about. It’s a base word or a pointer. So let’s use practice instead. And also, let’s be more specific on the area because “practice what?” … it’s a pity we don’t have the same question with discipline which is sadly used as a base characterisation of a person.
When someone tells me they want to start eating better but they lack the discipline, I ask them what is their next meal. If it’s a foot-long meatball sandwich that comes with an 8oz cola drink, I ask if they can ask for water instead. They usually freeze and hesitate and “well” and “maybe? … I guess” or “ahh, I don’t wanna start it now” buttressed by further wining 🙂
As you can see, the “I lack discipline” is used as a cheap cop-out of just doing. Discipline is now married to inspiration and motivation – you don’t need any of these to succeed. I’ll go further.
I realise that I had lots of thought around doing a thing. I therefore removed thinking from taking action and I accepted that the only moment I have is now. Yes, I’ll think and look before crossing the street and I’ll think for only the time required to write an outline for a proposal. But! I willfully put aside thinking when I have to wake at 5:30am to skip. Otherwise “Ugh, I deserve a break, I work so hard already, I don’t have training this am so I can skip later. It’s dark. It’ll wake up the entire neighbourhood because of the dogs’ barking.”
I do not think when I have to wash dishes or other cleaning otherwise they won’t get done. I take the same approach in all areas of my life lest I start to think that I’m “disciplined” with cleaning but not “disciplined” with eating well. Nike was right – just do it and know that my starter effort will generate work like a propeller.
Discipline does not exist as a base characterization, those you think are “disciplined” simply decide to do a thing and do it fully. Now, you may say that that’s what discipline means but the insane world of lack uh discipline has derailed many of us. Instead in the practice of doing a thing without thought and the acceptance that this moment is all there is, more of us will do, more of us will succeed and we will live a life of grandeur.
After a while of doing what must be done without thought, you too may be labeled as disciplined. As of late, I have been labeled as disciplined as it relates to fitness. Do I get it right all the time with my practice? No. Do I feel I lack discipline? Hells No. I simply do.
I hope this quote brings it full circle:
“You wanna make me extraordinary because it lets you off the hook. You get to play ‘well, if I had it like her’…it’s an excuse to never show up and play.” – Lisa Nichols