🙂 You can listen to or read this blog article.
The saying goes, ‘to whom much is given much is expected’
At some point in our lives, some of us craved a deeper understanding and meaning of life. Perhaps we saw our flaws and wanted to do better. Over time, in our eyes, we have changed and we express ourselves in a higher or brighter light. The difficulty comes when we encounter someone who expresses themselves differently.
Lately I have hit a wall, and in walking away from that wall, I have no choice but to forgive, love and accept every person where they are. I may be so aggrieved on the inside and silently scream why are they so rude, dishonest, aggressive, gossipy (I’ve severe allergies for this), mean and low confidence. But – I cannot change them so why bother even question who they are now?
Even in writing I am sighing at my own resolve because I am still putting up some resistance. In fact, doing away with expectations was my 19th out of the 33-birthday lesson in a blog article I wrote 2 years ago. And it is still difficult for me to do!
Either I have tried to, even in gentle ways, tried to introduce people to different ways of living. Or, they have asked for help and I have given guidance they did not follow. The point is, I have tried to change them. I would have said I never try to change anyone and think it ludacris any efforts by others to do this. However, even a complaint about a person is a desire for them to be different, aka, change. I resisted and resisted so much – and still do to some degree.
I wish the world can change, I wish everyone could see and feel the great power within them to actualize their dreams, I wish we can be less petty and more forgiving, I wish we can better resolve conflicts, I wish we can be more open minded. But these are my wishes for others.
So I simply have to embrace what I have learned (or have been given) and accept that some people will never change. Just give up, leave them alone. They want to be where they are, there is no desire for anything else. If I try to do anything to take whatever away (anger, fear, bitterness, envy, resentment, lack of confidence, jealousy, an addiction to complaining), even if gently, it will upset them. Sometimes it feels like a child to a pair of scissors. You take away the scissors and the child cries. But, we are talking about adults, not children so leave them with the scissors. They do not need your help. They are not open to change.
All I can do is see the good traits, avoid responding to comments (even maybe self-hatred statements– omg this is hard! Lol) and often times saying “ok”.
In the past week, if I did not stop (or attempt to stop) trying to change someone I love, it would have ended our relationship. It is either turmoil, end of a relationship or acceptance. It pains that I have to accept that they have a limiting belief, live a limiting life and may never experience anything beyond that. Limitation is not my language, not my lifestyle, I’m a passionate risk taker, but I have to just do nothing 🙁 It hurts! But it only hurts me, not the other person.
I was recently introduced to Kenneth Wapnick and he had what my mind thought were some wild ideas on acceptance and forgiveness. Simply because I was holding on so strongly to doing everything in my power to help each person I encounter know and experience miracles and high expression. In fact, I would have said it’s one of my life’s mission.
But, if I truly want inner peace, I simply would look upon everyone lovingly and bless them in my inner most thoughts.